Romney for President, Inc.
Post Office Box 149756
Boston, MA 02114-9756
Dear Mitt Romney 2012: I suspect that you may not know me. If this is the case then I don't blame you at all because you are a big super star who goes to other countries and probably knows Madonna. There are two things that I know about you: (1) You are a big super star who may or may not know Madonna, and (2) that I really only know one thing about you. These two indisputable facts of nature lead me to the question that is on my mind which is, can I have a gigantic poster of you to hang on my wall? If you were holding a gun or kissing a lady friend of yours that would be perfect, but if you're just standing in front of your bathroom door that would be fine too (in the bathroom door scenario, ideally, there would be a lady friend of yours behind you playing the tambourine or something, but I’m open minded on this important issue).
I think bribery is illegal so I'll just state this as a hard cold fact: I will vote for you in 2016 if you will send me a poster. Of course it’s possible that I would vote for you anyway, so that's why it's not illegal bribery. But if you send me a poster then you won’t even have to wonder!
[My name]
[My address]
Monday, November 19, 2012
Letter #14: Dr Phil
Email sent to Dr Phil:
http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9164
Dear Dr Phil’s Show That’s On At 10AM Here: I need to write to you about my sincere need to receive help from you for my innocent young child. I want my innocent child to have all that is best in the world of opinions and stores, including understanding global warming. I want this child to have all of the advantages that come from caring about racism, the environment, and Hillary Clinton, but I also want him or her to have the advantages that come from having stuff like iPads and baseball jerseys. This stuff that I’m saying is really important and sincere. Please point me to a book on tape that can help.
Also, can I have a poster of Dr. Phil lounging back on a couch as if he was the one who sincerely needed assistance from himself? Sort of like a hunter becomes the hunted type of motif?
Thank you for your time and posters.
[My Name]
[My Email Address]
http://www.drphil.com/plugger/respond/?plugID=9164
Dear Dr Phil’s Show That’s On At 10AM Here: I need to write to you about my sincere need to receive help from you for my innocent young child. I want my innocent child to have all that is best in the world of opinions and stores, including understanding global warming. I want this child to have all of the advantages that come from caring about racism, the environment, and Hillary Clinton, but I also want him or her to have the advantages that come from having stuff like iPads and baseball jerseys. This stuff that I’m saying is really important and sincere. Please point me to a book on tape that can help.
Also, can I have a poster of Dr. Phil lounging back on a couch as if he was the one who sincerely needed assistance from himself? Sort of like a hunter becomes the hunted type of motif?
Thank you for your time and posters.
[My Name]
[My Email Address]
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